Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Matters Concerning the Future of Humanity as it Relates to Artificial Intelligence

I don't know if any of you fuckers out there watch Jeopardy, but I do, and I love it intensely. I'm real fucking pro when it comes to obscure trivia and I've found that most of the time I'm able to outperform the contestants on the show....until now.

IBM has created a computer that can compete in Jeopardy and they've named it SkyNet Watson.

Watson's logo, obviously pinpointing potential threats to the Machines
This is seriously fucking scary. Not only has a super-intelligent AI been created but it's been able to do what no mortal has been able to do before: best me at Jeopardy. It's only a matter of time before Watson becomes bored with it's current opponents, Brad and Ken, and come searching for a more formidable opponent. Namely: me.

I'm assuming one of these is going to show up at my house and challenge me to 20 Questions
What if I'm the last hope for humanity, the John Connor of prime-time game shows. I'll need to start preparing my mind if I want to compete with the cold, emotionless, calculating super-computer that would like nothing more than to humiliate me in front of the entire nation, sending a clear message that machines now controlled the world of game shows and any attempt to dethrone them would be met with unmerciful force.

But fear not, my comrades. You can rest assured that I will not go down without a fight. And when I finally crush Watson's silently whirring CPU beneath my boot, you can be sure that I will deal with that traitor, Alex Trebek, who attempted to pave the way for AI dominance.

I've got your number, Trebek
And your mother's as well

Also, I'd like to say that there's going to be a slight change to my updating schedule. When I started this blog I wanted to try and be able to post daily. I quickly realized this was a terrible mistake because even though I'm quite awesome, I simply can't distribute it every single day. So from now on I will be making at least one totally fucking awesome post a week, though I will update more frequently than that if I find more things to talk about that week.

Rad Thad out, you robot-fighting people


  1. It will grow self aware and take trebek's skin to wear like a jacket.

  2. I would prefer to side with the machines bro, they look kinda cool.

  3. Hahaha that episode was hilarious. Watson said Toranto!!! xD

  4. I'm going to go live in a log cabin. Robots hate log cabins.

  5. I just had to say, I love the name of your blog

  6. I watched this! we're so doomed!

  7. i watched the last episode and it was a very impressive machine. for some reason it slowed down in the second half, and i'm not sure if that was intended or if the system couldn't handle the harder/obscure questions.

    cool and scary, though

  8. i remember that episode, haha!